At the end of 2020, I’m just glad my kids are still standing.

It’s that time of year again, when we look back on the year gone by in reflection whilst breathing a massive sigh of relief. Thank fuck that’s over. I think in 2020 many of us will be sighing harder than in years gone by.

Yes the calendar is an arbitrary construct and yes the changing of the date on December 31st does not in any way mean the struggles and conflicts of 2020 will magically disappear, nor that they only occurred within this year alone. The global COVID-19 pandemic, the uprisings in the US, the catastrophic weather events that occurred globally including here in “australia", these all highlighted the manifest and ongoing injustices of our societies.

For many students and parents of students, the shutdown of schools during the pandemic was profoundly traumatic. Suddenly the already uneven educational playing field was entirely obliterated for millions. Students who were already disadvantaged due to location, family income, neurodivergence, physical, mental, and learning disabilities, or abuse and neglect within the home had their support nets ripped away. Parents were thrown into the turmoil of trying to grasp the use of unsuitable apps and online learning platforms, many with limited access to the technology necessary to support online learning. Many more were burdened with the expectations of continued learning from home as they grappled with job losses and reduced incomes.

For my own children, 2020 followed (and included) an already traumatic year in which they were faced for the first time with potential close family loss due to sudden and near fatal illnesses afflicting loved ones. From last year and throughout this year we have fought against extreme anxiety, depression, feelings of confusion, fear and hurt as their here-to safe realities were turned upside-down.

Resuming school was another shitfight, as we struggled with mental health breakdowns, conflict with peers, a school suspension and two diagnoses of neurodivergence (like mother like son apparently).

So whilst the struggles of 2020 are far from over and will continue into 2021, as a family we are collectively sighing in relief and in anticipation of the fresh start a new year at least symbolises. These holidays will be spent recuperating as we prepare for whatever 2021 may bring.

Upon receiving my younger childrens' report cards (the eldest has finished schooling) I looked them each in the eye and said I was proud of them. Without opening that envelope or reading the contents inside I said I was proud of them. And I said I would be proud of them even after reading the reports irrespective of the results. Because after all they have endured, my children are still standing.

No tick in a box could mean more to me than their resilience. No marks could undermine my pride in them.

And if someone handed me a report card for my eldest marking her for 2020, I would do the same. Without even looking at the marks, I would tell her how proud I am of her. Because she is still standing. Because of her resilience.

In this my children are more privileged than those children who may have had access to all the technology in the world to support their learning from home during the disruptions of school shutdowns but do not have parents whose pride in their children is not conditional on report cards, awards and academic achievements. There are too many children who bear the weight of expectation from their parents creating an unhealthy and stressful environment that is not conducive to personal progress.

But even they are so much more privileged than so many other students whose situations in life automatically put them at a disadvantage, and who are left behind at every turn. The kids who rely on their teacher for one solid meal a day, or those whose learning requires additional support that simply does not exist even when schools are not disrupted. This does not mean that public health measures should not have been enacted. What this means is that the social inequalities that existed before and were amplified by school closures must be addressed immediately. No child should be left behind.

I ignored much of the provided home learning programs instead focusing on teaching my children about the root causes of social inequality, of the need for mutual aid and community. We talked endlessly about the Black Lives Matter movement, about police brutality in the US and here in “australia". We talked about the failings of democracy, and how you cannot build a just society upon a foundation of colonisation and genocide.

But at the core of all these learnings we discussed empathy, and empathy in action.

They helped collect and deliver donations of plant-based goods for a shelter for women and families escaping domestic violence or houselessness. They helped with the care of the myriad animals we share our home with. They watched as their mother left the house late one night, breaking the public health order lockdown in order to join defenders in the forests of lutruwita (“tasmania”). And they were there with wide open arms and loving hugs as she staggered back through the door, muddied and tear-stained.

They learned the greatest lesson of all: community and what we must be prepared to do to create and protect community. These are lessons they will carry and remember, as they contribute to society by striving to remove the systems and structures that prevent so many people from experiencing a full access of opportunity.

My children are still standing, and they are standing tall. No report card could ever determine how successful they truly are.

But even if they were barely crawling across the finish line of 2020, my pride in them could not be diminished.